Patience

People are funny… In one way or another, we seem always to prefer the asshole, and surround ourselves with people who hurt us. Sounds stupid, right?... Well, it’s not breaking news that the human being can be the stupidest creature on earth (and we call ourselves the rational one). But after all why we act like that? Well, We are impatient.

In a young’s person mind, consciously or inconsciously, we see the clock moving and moving fast and we don’t have time to think twice sometimes. So if someone that I don’t know at all says that loves me? Hell, I’m gonna take that opportunity. And when we wake up, we’re on a bad an intense relationship. Sometimes we actually find the one… But realistically the probability for that to happen is insanely low. There’s no need to be a genius to realize that.

Opportunities come and go, that’s a fact. And it hurts to give up on something that you know you want (Who said it didn't?). But that doesn’t mean that you should jump into every chance that you get. When you see an open window, door or whatever, search in your heart, is that really the path that I wanna go? Can I really trust that person? Your instincts are rarely wrong when you get in that personal space.  And time then means nothing, because you don’t actually see it pass.

And love is one of the things that you can’t rush into. It takes patience to find the right person. It takes courage to walk out on a dream or someone you love. It takes maturity to wait for the other person, whatever state They’re in. But the more you search, less you’ll find it. And love when is true love, Love can wait.  

Luck

Evaluations, exams… Why in the world they had to exist? Why should we prove ourselves? Why should I be compared to others?  Well, I could actually start a speech on how important is to society to be organized to be functional, and that everybody has their owns functions and jobs for that to happened, and that implies people having to be prepared to be in the category that They fought for, but that’s not my point here.

My point is, if you have an important goal to achieve, you’ll probably be putted on the spot. That happens to everyone (ok, almost everyone). It doesn’t matter if is an exam in high school, in college, to have you’re driving license, to become employed, If you’re doing it and you believe that you prepared yourself the most that you could, there’s still luck involved in that process. Especially in the last two examples. And when there’s so much  luck involved, you can’t help to be afraid, to be nervous, to think “What the hell is going to happen to me?”, you may not be the most religious person in the world, but you’ll pray then!

So What? Life is unfair, buhu! People makes mistakes, including you (what a shock). Sometimes you’re not lucky, something unexpected happens, you have a bad day, or you don’t have the support you need. Many things cause bad luck (just ask karma). But sometimes you’re lucky, you pass, good!  Learn with it, be humble. Appreciate it. Life will be much more kind with you. Same thing with love… If you’re THAT girl, and you find THAT guy, then don’t take it for granted. Fight for what you love, fight to be the best you can be at being yourself. Then the impossible loses the “im”, and you’ll not only surprise the others, but more important: you’ll surprise yourself, you’ll learn more and grow and become more wiser. So breathe once, think twice and GO!

Man vs Women

Relationships are complicated…  (Eureka!) It’s very difficult to find someone with who you click, and that you can’t stop thinking about.  Might be someone that you actually don’t see every day, but when you do, it makes your whole week… Someone that you already miss when you’re saying good bye and you’re seeing each other in a couple of hours... Yeah, love is strange, stupid… It sounds like an illusion sometimes, but in the right timing it can make a person a lot happier.

Why is so complicated after all? Well, wrong is very attractive and there for we end up falling in love with the wrong person. The sad thing about it? You know it! You know it’s wrong and you still want it. Yeah, you’re great together. He’s funny, charming and good looking. She’s sweet, innocent, avoids any drama and looks like a baby doll. But she has dreams of having a family and settling down, he wants to spend his life traveling (or vice-versa). He loves her, but has no time for her, he’s confused, he doesn’t want to hurt her, she thinks he’s her prince charming.

Enough with generalizations and examples, it’s true also that in some cases, even with all that obstacles, it works somehow. To exist bad, exists good. So the best thing to do is to recognize both. Be passionate, fight, but be realistic, be serious. Don’t search for qualities and flaws on the other person (you’re not their therapist), just know them. And don’t point them out, because no one knows better the quality and flaws of someone than the person itself and because you might be judging something that you don’t know that well.  

So… You don’t have time? Make time, it’s the easiest thing when you love someone. You’re confused? Don’t know like her/his personality or body? Learn to love her/his flaws and qualities, because you are human too. Change and be changed. That’s only way to love and be loved back. Experience is not needed to understand that. Inexperience sometimes makes it more real and pure.



Choices

There’s always a time in a young’s person life where life changing choices must be faced. And that time tends to be short, to be crucial, to be confusing. Things that adults… Ok, some adults, seem to already control… We don’t! It’s always about our future… It can be in school, in the relationship with our parents, in the relationship with our friends, but the thing that seem to be the most difficult one to get right, is love.

With love comes many questions in a person’s mind… “Am I loved back?”, “What should I do now?”, “Is this true love?”  And who knows the answers? Mummy? Daddy? Older Sister?  The Science Teacher? No, probably only you know the true answer and no one else. But to be in that state, you already made a choice: the choice “Yes, I’m in love”.

When you’re young somehow you’re always meeting new people and life seems full of opportunities… Where or Who to turn to? So what now? You can do nothing, that’s choice… You can wait and see, If you’re not a jealous person, because in that case you'll probably see other people be successful in that same department, and you won’t like it, and you’ll say “What If I had…”.

You can also trust your instincts. That seems to be the right choice… When you have good ones. And only experience can dictate that. But you're young, you don’t have many experiences. Besides, you should be thinking about what you want to do for the rest of your life, not love.

So, yes, it’s complicated (who said it wasn’t?), but for big, enormous, unavoidable dilemmas, there’s only one thing to do: do not to complicate! Breathe a little and find out what and who makes you happy, what and who you love. If you go from there, just follow the flow carefully, because there’s no way your instincts will be wrong then! And If They are, don’t be a drama queen about it and learn with your own mistakes.

Incoherence

Psychology is beautiful… To be able to help or guide someone without giving straights rows advices… That’s not easy! But to think that some people do it, and actually have some influence in others people’s life… It sounds like a gift.

And what is wrong with advices? Well… People sometimes many times don’t listen. Why? It’s not easy to hear from another person “You’re doing this wrong! Why don’t you do this and that ?”. Part of the human nature is to defend ourselves… Some people lie, lying to themselves as consequence. Others find every argument possible and more to prove the others wrong. Others say “You do the same thing! Why are you saying that to me?! Who you think you are, God?!” missing the point of an advice… In that case you’ll probably hear “Do what I say, don’t do what I do”. Because nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. People don’t always match their own believes with their own actions. People are incoherent. Does that mean that They can’t care for their friends? Family? Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

So let’s clear this up: when someone is giving you an advice, even being incoherent, probably is because that person cares about you and wants the best for you! And probably cares more than a therapist cares for his own patient. So there is no need to get defensive or aggressive.    There is no need to be hurt or hurt the other. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing too. Let’s not forget that, let’s listen. And let’s  also not forget that incoherence is constant in a young person’s life. Because when you’re young, you’re finding who you are and what you want, you’ll make mistakes in that process, and you’ll think that you’re the king of the world (Thanks Leonardo DiCaprio) and that you’re always right. So, to give you some sense, you can count on the people who love you. And what will They do? Give you an advice. :) And that's the beauty of people, what make us so special: we love. And we spend time and energy with the ones we love.

Introduction

Hi, my name is Mariana Martins. I’m 18 years old and I’m from Portugal – Lisbon, to be more precise. I’m the kind of person who likes to write, I know it’s strange. I’m deep and stubborn, just entered in college and I like to do productive things in my free time… No seriously, I’ll get really cranky if I don’t find anything to do. Just ask someone who’s near me during that time. And I don’t know why, but I found that creating a Blog would be something that would make feel accomplished. Plus, I’m not old enough to write a diary anymore… What I’m going to write about? I don’t know. Many things inspire me, so… Just read and see! I guess…

In this summer I’ve done a summer workshop about creative writing. I loved it, and the first task that we did was to answer some questions from a very famous questionnaire: The Proust’s Questionnaire. And that actually was a very good way for us to get to know each other. For that reason I thought that would be a great way to introduce myself here. Plus we only get to answer 5 questions, and I always wanted to answer it all, so here we go:

1-      Which are your best qualities?

I think I’m original and an open person… I think beyond the box and I’m more humble, more sensitive to some subjects and more emotionally developed than some people of my age- and there it goes without saying more mature.

2-      And your worst flaws?

Well, how can I say that I’m humble without answering this question properly? 

I’m a little bit shy and like I said stubborn and together that sometimes can be seen as arrogance, which makes me sometimes not very likeable to people who are closed minded, especially because I make sure that I speak my mind. I’m also a little bit incoherent, lack in experience and naïve.

3-      The most important characteristic in a men?

Just someone who makes me feel comfortable , who makes me laugh, who makes me want to spend more time with him, who doesn’t judge so easily, who doesn’t follow society and doesn’t do things just to please the others but at the same time isn’t selfish and takes in consideration not only his feelings, but the other person’s feelings too.

4-      And in an women?

Hmm… That question is actually more difficult. Normally women are very superficial and just think about what he or she is gonna think If I use this dress or use this make up, right? Don’t get me wrong, I like to look good and feel good, but please… There are more important things in the world than that, girls!

5-      What you most appreciate in your friends?

Mostly that they understand me… Who can walk in my shoes a little bit, because I try to do the same. Someone who doesn’t talk crap in our back or is at a dinner table whispering secrets to other person clearly talking about some stupid rumors or things that they don’t even know about or judging other person. Don’t hide your mouth with your hand when you’re talking with someone and there’s other people with you, that’s rude and disrespectful, people!

6-      Your favorite activity.

That’s easy! Writing, duh! Or something else creative. I actually like to sing and dance on my bedroom alone.

7-      What’s your idea of happiness?

When you’re loved, doing what you like, with people that you like, and you know in your heart that you’re following the right path in your life. You can actually be a lonely person and have bad things surrounding you, but if you concentrate in the good things that life gives you, than you’re successfully happy.

8-      Which would be the worst tragedy?

The world ending!!… No, kidding… Losing or disappointing my family.

9-       Who would you like to be If could be someone else?

Hm… I don’t know… I’m doing my best to be myself! I have a theory about that:  You might don’t have things that the others do have, but that just means that you also have things that the others don’t.

10-   Where would you like to live?

NEW YORK! Or London. Tokio ;D

11-   You favorite color?

Really? Am I in first grade?... Ok, ok… Baby blue or baby pink… Red isn’t bad.

12-   A flower?

The Rose is queen of the flowers.

13-   A bird?

The eagle… Just because it looks so majestic.

14-   Your favorite authors?

I like J.K Rowling and Stephanie Meyer, They both marked generations, that’s a big inspiration for me. In terms of Portuguese authors… Fernando Pessoa and José Saramago were both brilliant and marked the Portuguese language. I admire both for that.

15-   You favorite poets?

Florbela Espanca, and again, Fernando Pessoa.

16-   Who are you’re fiction heroes?

Hmmm… That’s a difficult one. Indiana Jones is the best! Ok, that was stupid.

17-   And heroines?

Oh please… Hmmm… (5 minutes later). I don’t know. I give up. I can’t give a serious answer.

18-   Your favorite songwriter?

Anyone who writes his own songs and make it a hit, it’s brilliant!

19-   And the painters that you prefer?

I’m not into painting… But I always had a thing for Rafael and Dali. Don’t know why.

20-   Who are you’re heroines in real life?

Oh, that’s easy! My sister and my mother!

21-   And you’re heroes in real life?

My father and both of my grandfathers. Family always first, right?

22-   Your favorite word?

History… Romance… Passion… Eternity… Queen..

23-    What you hate?

Fakers, liars, rude people. People who have to hurt and put the others down to feel better about themselves. That’s just really sad and more usually than people think.

24-   Who is the historical personality that you most despise?

That’s easy: Adolf Hitler! For obvious reasons.

25-   Which natural gifts you would like to have?

Just to inspire people… At least the same way I’m inspired.

26-   How would you like to die?

Never, I want to live forever and loved too.

27-   What’s your actual state of spirit?

Ambitious…  Grateful for what I have and preparing to have more. Scared of failing in that task.

28-   Which flaw is easier to forgive?

Awkwardness, shyness.

29-   What is your life’s slogan?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What you see is what you get.

To forgive is to live.

You judge your own insecurities.

And that’s it! :D I know it was long, but I enjoyed answering… I felt a celebrity…  Everyone should try to answer this at least once! It actually makes you think about who you are, and what you like.
And with that, I say good bye for now.
“Be kind with one another” – Ellen DeGeneres

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